The Secret to Happiness

Introduction to Mastering Dating Skills by Understanding Your Own Personality & Behavioral Style

Different people have different definitions about happiness. In fact, most people feel they are happiest when they contribute to other people’s happiness. And you can double these feeling if you are in pursuit of a Happy Ever After. If you haven’t figured it out by now, the BIG Secret to happiness is OTHER PEOPLE.

And in short, the Secret to OTHER PEOPLE is the ability to communicate. And if you can recognize their Personality and Behavior Style, it can be easier than you imagine considering the fact that OTHER PEOPLE have:

  • Easily predictable behavioral styles
  • Unique personalities unlike anyone else
  • Similar habits more like some people than the others

I know this may sound a bit confusing but it will be less confusing than Men Are Mars & Women Are From Venus. Most self-improvement books and research actually show that men and women typically fall into one of four unique styles. As a matter of fact, those people tend to react in a rather predictable way when faced with circumstances and situations based on their Personality and Behavior Styles.

Each of these styles, which I will cover in the coming days, has its own strengths and weaknesses.  Although it is important to realize that no style is more superior or inferior than the others. It’s just your unique style. And we must take into consideration that 75% of the OTHER PEOPLE we encounter will have their own unique style and react differently from us. 

Therefore, no matter how physically attractive you are to someone, if they demonstrate an opposite communication style from yours, you may find yourself adapting to match him or her if you want to salvage at least a good friend out of the date.

You don’t need to go into a personality overhaul if you do not like something about yourself.  The key point to remember is people who find happiness, are those who are flexible enough to relate to others by modifying their own predominant personality style to meet the needs of OTHER PEOPLE who have a different predominant style.

In other words, it doesn’t have to be “my way or the highway” anymore.

In the next blog, we will take a fun quiz that will measure your love style and a game that will give you an idea of what’s your Personality and Behavior Style. 

In Pursuit of Love & Happiness,

3 Easy Steps to Getting Your Verb Back

In order to get your Verb back you must be willing to step outside of your comfort zone.  With each step forward you will discover more about the world and yourself. You will feel more connected and confident that you can do anything. It can seem hard, but the reality is, it’s a lot easier than you think. And while there might be some challenges, the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.

Here are 3 easy steps to get you started :

Step 1: Say yes! Opportunity is knocking. Will you answer? Too often the answer is “no.” There’s always a good excuse – not enough money, not enough time, and a host of others. How do you get beyond this point? Stop over thinking and be spontaneous and say “yes” to living life. This doesn’t mean to become a doormat. The keyword here is “opportunity.” An opportunity to step out of your day dreams and into a world of circumstances that will help you live your best life.

Step 2: Ditch the fear. The main reason we hesitate is because deep down we’re afraid. So when you find yourself wavering toward that “no” the next most logical thing to do is to ask yourself “why not.” What you’re going to find out is that every reason tends to come back to your fears. Your fear of rejection, being taking advantage of, criticism or safety.  Trying new things can be a double edge sword. But it will help you face your fears. Once you understand your fear, you can take steps to resolve it. 

*As a side note, some fears might require professional help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help in working through the more difficult stuff.

Step 3: Find the excitement. Instead of focusing on the scary part of stepping outside your comfort zone, look forward to the excitement of trying something new or getting to know someone new. A positive view of things will overshadow excuses that would prevent you from answering the doors to “opportunity.” 

With these three steps, you’re ready to go out into the world and get your Verb back. 

Live, Love, Laugh and REPEAT!

LaDonna Yates, SHE Is A Verb

Shut It Down for Better Sleep

by LaDonna Yates

After being a single Mom for over 10 years, it was difficult for me to adjust to being home alone. Every unfamiliar noise had me jumping out my skin.  I could not bare it, so I started watching late night TV to blur out the creepy sounds. I went from lack of sleep to late night binge watching coupled with late night snacks. What’s a good movie without popcorn or sweets? Don’t judge…

The next day I would be sluggish and unable to focus. Remembering my co-workers names and spelling of simple words became a challenge. This had to STOP!

The following week, while sitting in the waiting room to see my doctor to confirm my issue was not a health risk, I came across an article on sleep deprivation. There it was in Black and White: The glow from electronics work against quality shuteye. The small amounts of light from these devices pass through the retina into a part of the hypothalamus (the area of the brain that controls several sleep activities) and delay the release of the sleep-inducing hormone. As you stay up later on a consistent basis, you readjust your sleep cycle, and now, your body physically can’t fall asleep until that new, set time. Here it was, my new television habit was wreaking havoc on my sleep cycle and the only solution was to Shut It down. 

The results from shutting down all my electronics at least an hour before bedtime was rewarding. I created a bedtime ritual that included affirmation, a warm shower and a cup of bedtime tea. If you want to be sleep by 10PM, then plan to shut down your electronics by 8PM each evening. This can be difficult for some people because those are prime TV watching hours. However, you can always record your favorite shows or watch them when time permits by using online streaming sites. Trust me, I learned the hard way that my sleep cycle is more important than watching television and/or posting on social media.

Keep in mind that not only will shutting down your electronics help you to sleep better, it will also give your body the rest it needs to rejuvenate. Plus, the following day when you awaken, you’re going to feel more focused and energized. You may even remember your co-workers’ names (or not).

If you want to improve your life in a big way, this is one thing that will make a huge difference. Besides, if you’re not up late at night then you won’t late night binge. Which means you’re not adding on unwanted weight. TIFY for at least 14 days to see how great you’ll feel. It’s a Game Changer.

How to Stare at Someone

Without Looking Like a Crazy Person

Here I am sitting in an airport due to another flight delay. Weather, Mechanical, or Late Flight Crew it doesn’t matter because it all equals to one thing, I’m stuck!

So, I decided to turn a lemon into a lemon drop martini.

As I scanned the lobby I noticed 3 rows over from me a distinguishably dressed businessman looking stressed as he continuously glanced at the flight display board above the podium with hopes that his eyes were deceiving him. Reality of our stituation was that we had a two or more hours delay.  I thought to myself, this is the perfect day to get my “smize” on.  If you don’t know what that means then continue to read.

SMIZE: Eye Contact A With A Smile
Per James Bauer, eye contact helps you spark romantic feelings in the guy you like. You know this. Even if you haven’t heard it before, you’ve felt it yourself. And you’ve heard that men are more likely to approach you if you make eye contact and smile. But how do you do it? Do you simply keep looking up and down, hoping to catch his gaze? Do you stare at him for minutes at a time without blinking?
No. And definitely not.

Because there’s a better way. And it’s pretty simple. If you want to make eye contact with a guy, focus on something right behind him. Right over his shoulder. Since you’re focused on something so close to him, he should notice fairly quickly. He’ll “feel” your gaze. But because you’re not actually looking at him, you won’t be that creepy woman willing him to look. That’s the first step. The one that gets his attention.

Once you notice him glancing at you, quickly look into his eyes and smile, then look away. He’ll feel like he noticed you. Like he sought you out.

It’s a neat trick, says James Bauer to use in a crowd of strangers. But you can also use it on your long-term partner as the two of you socialize and mingle on opposite sides of a room.

If you were wondering about the outcome from the delayed flight, it turned out to be more sweet than sour.  I made it to my distinction and as “Luck Be” it was to meet Mr. #3 in my quest to date 52N52.

Special Thanks to:

BeIrresistible.com

The 3 Essential Mindsets an Entrepreneur Needs to Succeed

In the process of building our company, Practice Makes Perfect, I’ve realized there are three different mindsets – going in the right direction, not now and being wrong — I’ve adopted that have been vital to my success.

By adapting these mindsets, I have learned to sell a great product and lead a high-performing team.

For those entrepreneurs just getting started, here are the three mindsets more in-depth, along with tips on execution.

1. The ‘this is the right direction’ mindset.
The right direction mindset is necessary when decisions have to be made with time constraints. It is an especially important mindset at times of uncertainty, which for every entrepreneur I know, this happens a lot. This mindset works well when the team or company is smaller and you’re making decisions within your realm of expertise. You also need this mindset to take your vision from ideation to existence.

That said, be careful getting too caught up in this mindset as your team grows. You will have other smart leaders (if you’re hiring correctly), and the right direction needs to come from the group. In my experience, it isn’t the right answer that typically works out. The answer or direction the group believes in, whether it is flawed or not, tends be the right answer.

2. The ‘no’ doesn’t mean ‘no,’ it just means ‘not now’ mindset.
First of all, you can’t take “no” personally. Getting rejected is part of the entrepreneurial journey and learning process. I remember counting noes at one point early on in my journey and noticed that I was receiving 97 noes for every 3 yeses. We kept moving and didn’t let the negativity distract us. Instead, as we focused on getting more noes, we realized that eventually we would get yeses.

In the beginning, many of the noes really were “not nows.” In future years, we converted several people who had previously said “no” to “yes.”

Be careful not to get too carried away. No definitely does NOT mean yes or maybe. If you push too hard, you can alienate other people and sever relationships. Instead, I’d suggest when people say no that you give them some space and later ask them for feedback on why they said it if it wasn’t inherently obvious. Use questions like: “Why did you decide against purchasing our product or using our service?” and “What would make you or would’ve made you a yes?”

3. The ‘I was wrong’ mindset.
It is one thing to strive for excellence; it is a completely other thing to never admit when you’re wrong. No one wants to work for someone who thinks they are perfect and never admits when they are wrong. It shows a strong sense of insecurity and lack of awareness. The worse thing about being wrong and not owning up to it is that it sets the wrong precedent internally. If you, as the leader, don’t admit when you’re wrong, then others internally may never do it either. This means people will not be growing from their mistakes. At times, small issues may snowball into even bigger concerns.

There are also positive outcomes to admitting when you’re wrong. For one, it shows a bit of vulnerability. It humanizes you. Also, owning your mistakes can be very powerful for company culture and getting help.

Be careful not to get too carried away with admitting when you’re wrong. Not many would want to work for someone who was always wrong..

Source: The 3 Essential Mindsets an Entrepreneur Needs to Succeed